The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and notable for its enslaved workforce, disturbing lack of elderly people, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 11.936 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 64.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 2,907 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 243,613 Sweetings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,096,258 per year while the poor average 33,397, a ratio of 32.8 to 1.

The relatives of suicide victims tend to be angry rather than sad, pre-eclampsia in pregnancy is treated with encouragement to take "long soothing walks", prisoners pray grey skies are gonna clear up, and children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 7,052^nd in the world and 158^th in the Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 5,991.58 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.