by Max Barry

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Issues Editor
The Free Joy State was Condemned by Security Council Resolution # 333
Most Ignorant Citizens: 236thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 242ndMost Devout: 361st
The Petrifying Procrastinations of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Obedience is Man's Greatest Strength
Influence
Page
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Nuke Control Cards

The Free Joy State

Population13.454 billion

CapitalGrand Central City
LeaderExalted Holiness
FaithThe True Church of the Exalted Holiness

CurrencySweeting
AnimalDove

The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, strictly enforced bedtime, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.454 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 3,323 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 247,012 Sweetings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,124,160 per year while the poor average 33,180, a ratio of 33.9 to 1.

People who make the leader's blood boil get boiled, school uniforms are compulsory, forecasts predict rains of loose lead and mortar shells for the next six weeks, and the giant 80-storey carving of Exalted Holiness in Mount Rushless can be seen from space. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 247,148th in the world and 7,094th in the Pacific for Best Weather, with -327 meters of sunlight.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 236thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 242ndMost Devout: 361stMost Primitive: 416thLargest Insurance Industry: 593rdLargest Mining Sector: 897thLargest Black Market: 983rdHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,294thFattest Citizens: 1,378thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,432ndMost Corrupt Governments: 1,446thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,482ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,483rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,624thMost Avoided: 1,794thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,294thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,448thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,462ndTop
5%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 3,685thHighest Average Incomes: 3,735thHighest Economic Output: 4,420thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 4,458thMost Conservative: 5,422ndMost Patriotic: 5,601stHighest Disposable Incomes: 8,828thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,901stTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 12,940thLowest Crime Rates: 13,166thMost Influential: 13,181stLargest Governments: 13,214thMost Efficient Economies: 13,350thMost Authoritarian: 14,299thLargest Populations: 22,083rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 22,278thGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 24,695th
Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 12th in the regionMost Primitive: 14th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 16th in the regionMost Devout: 19th in the regionLargest Black Market: 24th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 26th in the regionFattest Citizens: 31st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 32nd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 35th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 35th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 39th in the regionMost Avoided: 43rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 44th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 50th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 55th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 57th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 61st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 63rd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 83rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 89th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 99th in the regionLargest Populations: 111th in the regionMost Patriotic: 164th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 195th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 197th in the regionMost Influential: 208th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 233rd in the regionMost Conservative: 261st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 302nd in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 316th in the regionLargest Governments: 336th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 351st in the regionTop
10%
Most Stationary: 407th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 608th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 611th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 669th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector and Most Politically Apathetic Citizens and the Top 10% for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Populations.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, the giant 80-storey carving of Exalted Holiness in Mount Rushless can be seen from space.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, forecasts predict rains of loose lead and mortar shells for the next six weeks.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, school uniforms are compulsory.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, people who make the leader's blood boil get boiled.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, a firework a day does not in fact keep the doctor away.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, it is illegal to carry an umbrella when the official weather forecast predicts a sunny day.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides.

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