The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, state-planned economy, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.45 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 3,038 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 244,035 Sweetings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 971,782 per year while the poor average 41,279, a ratio of 23.5 to 1.

There's no such thing as a safe bet, conflicted Free Joyish mamas cry 'cause - if there's one thing they don't need - it's another hungry mouth to feed, children get arrested for floating paper boats on lakes, and real chickens replace rooster weather vanes on inner-city rooftop gardens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 243,969^th in the world and 6,060^th in the Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2.44 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.