by Max Barry

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The Free Joy State was Condemned by Security Council Resolution # 333
Most Ignorant Citizens: 238thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 247thMost Devout: 365th
The Petrifying Procrastinations of
Iron Fist Consumerists
Obedience is Man's Greatest Strength
Influence
Page
Region
Civil Rights
Outlawed
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Outlawed

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

The Free Joy State

Population12.45 billion

CapitalGrand Central City
LeaderExalted Holiness
FaithThe True Church of the Exalted Holiness

CurrencySweeting
AnimalDove

The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, state-planned economy, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.45 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 3,038 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 244,035 Sweetings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 971,782 per year while the poor average 41,279, a ratio of 23.5 to 1.

There's no such thing as a safe bet, conflicted Free Joyish mamas cry 'cause - if there's one thing they don't need - it's another hungry mouth to feed, children get arrested for floating paper boats on lakes, and real chickens replace rooster weather vanes on inner-city rooftop gardens. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 243,969th in the world and 6,060th in the Pacific for Most Beautiful Environments, with 2.44 Pounds Of Wildlife Per Square Mile.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 238thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 247thMost Devout: 365thMost Primitive: 395thLargest Insurance Industry: 733rdLargest Black Market: 866thLargest Mining Sector: 886thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,151stMost Corrupt Governments: 1,304thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,327thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,352ndFattest Citizens: 1,376thMost Avoided: 1,379thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,771stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,956thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2,202ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,405thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,417thTop
5%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 3,636thHighest Average Incomes: 3,748thHighest Economic Output: 4,713thMost Conservative: 4,786thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 7,277thHighest Disposable Incomes: 9,742ndMost Subsidized Industry: 9,829thTop
10%
Most Authoritarian: 12,515thMost Efficient Economies: 12,768thLowest Crime Rates: 12,791stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 13,253rdLargest Governments: 13,628thMost Influential: 14,057thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 19,808thLargest Populations: 23,016th
Top
1%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 9th in the regionMost Primitive: 11th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 12th in the regionMost Devout: 16th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 20th in the regionLargest Black Market: 23rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 26th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 27th in the regionFattest Citizens: 28th in the regionMost Avoided: 32nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 39th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 40th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 44th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 46th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 47th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 57th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 59th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 61st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 66th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 95th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 96th in the regionLargest Populations: 118th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 178th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 206th in the regionMost Conservative: 211th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 211th in the regionMost Influential: 215th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 267th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 296th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 304th in the regionTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 345th in the regionLargest Governments: 347th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 491st in the regionMost Stationary: 526th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, real chickens replace rooster weather vanes on inner-city rooftop gardens.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, children get arrested for floating paper boats on lakes.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, conflicted Free Joyish mamas cry 'cause - if there's one thing they don't need - it's another hungry mouth to feed.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Politically Apathetic Citizens.
  • : The Free Joy State was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Largest Manufacturing Sector and the Top 5% for Most Authoritarian.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, there's no such thing as a safe bet.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, when shaking hands with foreign leaders Exalted Holiness wears an armoured gauntlet.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys.
  • : Following new legislation in The Free Joy State, the word 'elite' appears as a synonym for various insults in the Free Joyish Colonial Thesaurus.

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