The Petrifying Procrastinations of The Free Joy State is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Exalted Holiness with an iron fist, and remarkable for its triple-decker prams, strictly enforced bedtime, and fear of technology. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 13.454 billion Free Joyers are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Spirituality, Industry, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Grand Central City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Joyish economy, worth a remarkable 3,323 trillion Sweetings a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 247,012 Sweetings, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,124,160 per year while the poor average 33,180, a ratio of 33.9 to 1.

People who make the leader's blood boil get boiled, school uniforms are compulsory, forecasts predict rains of loose lead and mortar shells for the next six weeks, and the giant 80-storey carving of Exalted Holiness in Mount Rushless can be seen from space. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force. The Free Joy State's national animal is the Dove, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The True Church of the Exalted Holiness.

The Free Joy State is ranked 247,148^th in the world and 7,094^th in the Pacific for Best Weather, with -327 meters of sunlight.