Post
Region: Valhalla
OH! My favorite type of issue!
The Issue
This morning’s strategy meeting was brought to a grinding halt when you and your cabinet were subjected to the worst pot of tea you have ever had the misfortune of suffering. The leaves weren’t properly brewed, the milk was skimmed AND powdered, the water was lukewarm, and the sugar bowl was full of salt...
“Oh gosh Leader, I’m so sorry I don’t know how to make your boiled leaf water,” spits Georgina, the ever-sarcastic secretary responsible for the offending brew. “I was busy learning trivialities like typing, minute-taking, IT skills, and calendar organising. How about you all drink Eckie-cola from now on, instead? In fact, you should get rid of tea from the whole of GRO II: it’s a drink for old farts and fuddy-duddies anyway.”
Accept
“Look, I’m the Secretary of State, the damn Secretary of State, I say, and even I know how to make tea properly,” complains your elderly Secretary of State, pointing to the desk nameplate that says Secretary of State. “The problem with young people today, well, besides being constantly glued to their Pear Phones, is that they don’t know how to slow down and take their time. We should make tea-making and kitchen skills a part of the national curriculum, and encourage all those teenagers and twenty-somethings to stop rushing around, and to appreciate a proper tea service.”
Accept
“Pfft, slow-mo food and drink is so last century,” mocks Larry MacDonald, your Chief of Science, while digging into his microwave burrito. “What you need is instant tea, in a can, with some sort of heating widget that triggers with the ring pull, and plenty of preservatives to make it last. Once again, science has the answer! So, shall I assign some government grants for food technology research, or what?”
Accept
“Oolongs for better tea?” giggles Rosalia Sims, your pun-loving Minister of Agriculture, and your Cabinet brace themselves for an onslaught of tea-related puns. “Can we Matcha solution to the problem? Can we Rize to the occasion? Did you read that report I Sencha? Did I get things down to a tea, my Darjeelings?” In the face of blank faces and silence, she changes tack. “Uh... anyway, coffee. Coffee is easier to make and nicer. Subsidise coffee growers.”
Accept
