The Guy who made jeff elite of Anxiety Cafe is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Leader with an iron fist, and renowned for its smutty television, zero percent divorce rate, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 23.618 billion Demonym are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Healthcare and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Capital City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Demonym economy, worth a remarkable 6,316 trillion Currencies a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Retail. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 267,455 Currencies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

'dead men tell no tales' is a valid legal defense, city rooftops are pockmarked with the shattered remains of experimental delivery drones, homeless people can be found sleeping on streets in front of unoccupied second homes, and naturists are jailed regularly for indecent exposure. Crime is a serious problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Anxiety Cafe's national animal is the National Animal, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is National Religion.

Anxiety Cafe is ranked 268,298^th in the world and 39^th in Sol Aeternalis for Lowest Crime Rates, with 41.72 law-abiding acts per hour.