The Ecclesiastical Meritocracy of Spiritual Republic of Caryton is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Roger Stahlberg with an even hand, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, aversion to nipples, and hatred of cheese. The hard-nosed, devout population of 10.415 billion Carytonics are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Georgine. The average income tax rate is 79.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Carytonic economy, worth a remarkable 1,047 trillion Cary Credits a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Basket Weaving. Average income is an impressive 100,606 Cary Credits, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days', fan-made edits of old films have seen a sudden jump in quality, every diamond ring sold is accompanied by a twenty-five page analysis and a waiver, and gun owners are skilled at everything except shooting. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Spiritual Republic of Caryton's national animal is the Golden Retriever, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Gospel Church of Caryton.

Spiritual Republic of Caryton is ranked 6,027^th in the world and 3^rd in Aeterna for Lowest Crime Rates, with 112.04 law-abiding acts per hour.