The Democratic Republic of Crystalbay is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Thomas Gore with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, frequent executions, and feral children. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 6.161 billion Crystalbayians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, liberal government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crystallake. The average income tax rate is 24.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Crystalbayian economy, worth a remarkable 1,152 trillion bitcoins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an impressive 186,999 bitcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A rusted hulk in Crystallake harbour has been voted the worst eyesore in Osiris, one-stop superstores divide and conquer family businesses, cities are engulfed by smog, and physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Crystalbay's national animal is the beaver, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Crystalbay is ranked 29,012^th in the world and 1,846^th in Osiris for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 6,516.52 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.