OsirisBoard

Hi I am new here

Planeterium wrote:

Hi I am new here

Hi!

The Part-Time Goddess Margaret wrote:

Hello! I'm new to the Desert!

Hello!

Democratic Republic of Avis wrote:

New to the region! Hey ya'll! :)

Hey!

Tethys 13 wrote:

Question of the Day:

How would your nation handle a scenario in which some of its scientists discovered a method of immortality?

Yet again it becomes apparent that our technology is far ahead of the rest of Osiris. We mastered the art of making citizens immortal millennia ago.

First, the brain is carefully pulled out through the nostrils and discarded. This gives the citizen space to think.

Second, an incision is made on the left side of the abdomen. The stomach, liver, and intestines are removed, and stored in a box. Other cultures have tried to replicate this, but failed. Those ignorant heathens call their boxes "lunch boxes", and place food in them. Those poor uneducated fools don't realise that the stomach and intestines need to be present in the box first - how else could the citizen digest the food?

Next come the lungs, which are then sealed in an airtight jar, ensuring that the citizen will be able to breathe for all eternity. The heart, being the centre of being and intelligence, is left in place.

Bags of salt are placed inside the cavity so as to draw out the moisture. This stops the citizen needing to leak all the time.

The salt is later removed, and the cavity is then stuffed with straw to preserve the citizen's shape. It is at this point that the bandaging starts. The finest linen is used for this purpose. It is known that quality is important - some citizens simply fell apart after provision of substandard linen.

I am sad to announce that it is my last month here with Orisis. I have had a really good time being a part of Orisis, but it’s time for an end. Thank you all, I Wish All For Everyone.

Osiris' four leaf clover Patrick mayonnaise flag took me by surprise. I laughed.

good morning

Japan2662 wrote:

Hello I am too

Hello

Knock-Knock wrote:

good morning

Good afternoon

The Part-Time Goddess Margaret wrote:

If, hypothetically, I have the inclination and also the coin to afford it... could I be stuffed with candy instead? Might be a nice surprise if and when I eventually fall apart.

Ah. This is not advisable.

Several centuries ago, a wealthy woman owned an extensive almond orchard. She bought over her neighbours' orchards for unusually low prices. Rumour was that she obtained these by deceit or extortion, but neither she nor the neighbours confirmed this. She ended up with a near-monopoly of the almond market. But she also treated her workers badly, and they hated her.

When her time came to be immortalised, she chose to be stuffed with sugared almonds. On returning to her home, she was grabbed by her angry workers who didn't think she deserved immortality. She was hung from a tree and beaten with sticks. Her body was broken, and the sugared almonds spilled out. The excited children of the workers gathered and ate them.

So although immortal, the body can be severely damaged. Best not to have anything unusual inside in case you get attacked with sticks like the unfortunate woman P'nyah-tah.

The Part-Time Goddess Margaret wrote:

Ah but the children! Think of the children! Blessed is the immortal soul of she who brings joy to the little ones, surely?

If you want to spend eternity with broken bones and torn flesh in exchange for five minutes of joy for a small group of greedy brats who will inevitably end up arguing over who got the most candy, that's your call. Personally I'd go with the straw, and maybe just hand out some candy to the kids. It'd be a better outcome for everyone, I'm sure.

That said, hemp stalks are proving more popular than straw these days. Apparently they have less dust, which is good if you have allergies.