The Colonies of Unitess is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Jamie Saturn with an even hand, and renowned for its compulsory military service, smutty television, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate population of 11.791 billion Unitessans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Theorihold. The average income tax rate is 83.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Unitessan economy, worth a remarkable 1,217 trillion Keycoins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 103,255 Keycoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Political candidates recite daily pledges of loyalty to their chosen party, a formerly quiet little town is now booming as both a cult centre and a tourist attraction, a suspicious number of John Smiths are known to donate to Unitessan politicians, and parking's carefree without parking car fees. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Unitess's national animal is the Unitessan Quokka, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Axolotolism.

Unitess is ranked 8,755^th in the world and 8^th in The Galactics Union for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 13,978.77 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.