The Frozen Northern Wastes of Empire of Beldemark is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Matthew M Strudel with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, ubiquitous missile silos, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 8.883 billion Beldemarkians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fviserwinterland. The average income tax rate is 85.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Beldemarkian economy, worth a remarkable 1,524 trillion Marlics a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 171,644 Marlics, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Physics lessons mostly involve talking about emotional management techniques, extraordinary tribunals try accused financial criminals, actively encouraging climate change is helping reduce winter fuel costs, and hospitals are amongst the best-funded in the region. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Empire of Beldemark's national animal is the Arctic Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Deusism.

Empire of Beldemark is ranked 287,709^th in the world and 4,063^rd in the Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring -527.87 on the Scary Big Number Scale.