The Great Republic of Togsland is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Chris Cornell with a fair hand, and notable for its pith helmet sales, keen interest in outer space, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.756 billion Togslandics are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Toglinn. The average income tax rate is 60.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Togslandic economy, worth 159 trillion Togs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 90,760 Togs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Atheistic refugees haven't got a prayer of being granted asylum, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb, counselors diagnose their clients with motherboard complexes, and the "boy who cried wolf" policy makes sick people reluctant to call an ambulance. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Togsland's national animal is the Togslandic Schmoney Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Jampterism.

Togsland is ranked 269,959^th in the world and 1,219^th in Europe for Most Patriotic, with 0.79 flags saluted per person per day.