The Loving Couple of -ArtF4n is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by Gilbert with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, disturbing lack of elderly people, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 10.078 billion -ArtF4nians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bonesborough. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 66.4%.

The frighteningly efficient -ArtF4nian economy, worth a remarkable 1,256 trillion snails a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 124,633 snails, with the richest citizens earning 7.2 times as much as the poorest.

Gilbert will only ring up foreign leaders if they agree to reverse the charges, sales of trenchcoats are on the rise, countless government officials are accused of espionage, and minority religions have been reclassified as "heresies we stamped out". Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. -ArtF4n's national animal is the owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Cards.

-ArtF4n is ranked 28,289^th in the world and 4^th in Free Japan for Most Cultured, scoring 80 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.