The Loving Couple of -Woah-Crikey is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Hello willow with an iron fist, and notable for its ritual sacrifices, compulsory vegetarianism, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 3.591 billion -Woah-Crikeyians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Education, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Public Transport receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ooze Cruise Travel. The average income tax rate is 35.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The thriving -Woah-Crikeyian economy, worth 288 trillion snails a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, quite specialized black market in Information Technology, Trout Farming, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 80,355 snails, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Neon signs promoting safe driving often distract drivers, unpopular scientists are shunned by name, small shoes often wash up on the beach, and young children are regularly seen wagering pocket money at blackjack tables. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. -Woah-Crikey's national animal is the owl, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Cards.

-Woah-Crikey is ranked 139,838^th in the world and 4^th in ravana for Lowest Crime Rates, with 61.85 law-abiding acts per hour.