The Empire of 911 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by elbirdo with an iron fist, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, state-planned economy, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 3.228 billion 911ians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare isn't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Phoenix Haven. The average income tax rate is 77.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient 911ian economy, worth 492 trillion bottleses of vodca a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 152,563 bottleses of vodca, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Foreign leaders who don't applaud elbirdo's speeches are regarded as enemies of 911, people transfer their assets to bank accounts in Manamana before getting divorced, a few immigrants are better than no immigrants according to elbirdo, and five-year-olds chanting "Little Miss Muffet" are accused of bullying arachnophobes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. 911's national animal is the dinosaur, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is alcoholism.

911 is ranked 311,354^th in the world and 4^th in Nikara for Least Corrupt Governments, with 55.96 percentage of bribes refused.