The Phantasm of Afi-Aftos is a behemoth, orderly nation, ruled by Whoop Dee Whoop with an iron fist, and notable for its lack of airports, suspicion of poets, and labour-free parental leave. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 51.514 billion Afi-Aftosians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Loompaland. The average income tax rate is 96.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Afi-Aftosian economy, worth an astonishing 14,002 trillion Fishterous Correlations a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Uranium Mining, Retail, Furniture Restoration, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 271,816 Fishterous Correlations, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

The government is accused of being heartless by those considered brainless, Legitimate Businessmen Social Clubs are the only places to legitimately get high tech, conscripts often volunteer for a second tour of duty so they can get a ticket to next year's Army Revue, and visiting dignitaries often take advantage of strict reparation policies by stubbing their toes. Crime is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Afi-Aftos's national animal is the Vermicious Knid, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Dudeism.

Afi-Aftos is ranked 310,304^th in the world and 3^rd in Fredonia for Most Cultured, scoring -142 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.