The Gradual Disintegration of Alan is a gargantuan, genial nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, rampant corporate plagiarism, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 26.702 billion Alanians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The City of First Light. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 28.8%.

The strong Alanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,354 trillion single-origin chocolate bars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Pizza Delivery. Average income is 50,715 single-origin chocolate bars, with the richest citizens earning 5.9 times as much as the poorest.

Soup kitchens are the only things doing roaring business, police officers often head to work wearing onesies and fluffy pink bunny-slippers, hordes of tourists are ruining the environment, and Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, probably because of the absence of a police force. Alan's national animal is the malfunctioning blue keyboard, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Alan is ranked 289,044^th in the world and 48^th in Hippy Haven for Lowest Crime Rates, with 34.04 law-abiding acts per hour.