The Ancient Imperium of Alistia is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Arawn Ymerawdwr Tywyll yr Isfyd with an iron fist, and renowned for its unlimited-speed roads, prohibition of alcohol, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, cynical, cheerful, devout population of 24.928 billion Alistians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Teml Awyr. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Alistian economy, worth a remarkable 6,395 trillion Doegs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 256,542 Doegs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government spends more on chasing distant comets than on basic infrastructure, it's rare to find an unchewed pencil, science fiction invariably depicts socialist societies as Utopian, and Brancaland has gifted over nine thousand putrid moose carcasses to Alistia as a reminder of their "special relationship". Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alistia's national animal is the Akhal-Teke, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is the Ecclesia Hominibus.

Alistia is ranked 329,910^th in the world and 7^th in The Mystical Alliance for Highest Drug Use, scoring 0.49 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.