The Returning Champion of Allied Fascist Union is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Resurrected Augustus Autumn with an iron fist, and notable for its ubiquitous missile silos, free-roaming dinosaurs, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 12.196 billion Fascists are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of NEW ROME NEVER FELL. The average income tax rate is 64.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Fascist economy, worth a remarkable 1,458 trillion Autumn Coins a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 119,589 Autumn Coins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Economic output is rising as the chronically depressed are persuaded not to burden society, crossbow bolts fill the skies if so much as a sparrow flies overhead, major internet servers have acquired citizenship, and glancing at the car radio display while driving is treated as attempted homicide. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Allied Fascist Union's national animal is the Slug, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Autumnism.

Allied Fascist Union is ranked 191,186^th in the world and 4^th in Cake for Safest, scoring 50.14 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.