The Demokratik Republik of Alpengau is a mammoth, orderly nation, notable for its state-planned economy, national health service, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 9.172 billion Alpengauans are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Säuling. The average income tax rate is 94.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Alpengauan economy, worth a remarkable 2,071 trillion Alpengauen Marks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 225,884 Alpengauen Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Getting your license is a rite of passage for young adults, the army lives rent-free in foreigners' heads and houses, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... Alpengauan satellites can detect it, and government theft from poor artists to give to rich allies has been dubbed the "reverse Robin Hood" policy. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alpengau's national animal is the Wolpertinger, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Alpengau is ranked 6,946^th in the world and 3^rd in Kerbin for Most Cultured, scoring 134 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.