The Holy Empire of Alpha Ketol is a titanic, orderly nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and restrictive gun laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, devout population of 18.221 billion Alpha Ketolians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Spirituality, with Defense, Law & Order, and Administration also on the agenda. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 22.8%.

The very strong Alpha Ketolian economy, worth a remarkable 1,028 trillion Nitrogenous Substanceseses a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Woodchip Exports industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 56,435 Nitrogenous Substanceseses, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 212,108 per year while the poor average 10,482, a ratio of 20.2 to 1.

Employers may fire workers without giving any reason, the alarmingly racist TV show 'Bigtopians Say the Darndest Things' is a hit, the combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, and military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Alpha Ketol's national animal is the Indol, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Alpha Ketol is ranked 140,364^th in the world and 5^th in The Grand Iron Order for Highest Average Incomes, with 56,435.39 Standard Monetary Units.