The Republic of Altaic is a colossal, efficient nation, remarkable for its infamous sell-swords, daily referendums, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.924 billion Altaicians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Administration. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 84.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Altaician economy, worth a remarkable 1,394 trillion Wooloos a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 156,267 Wooloos, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 462,578 per year while the poor average 41,463, a ratio of 11.2 to 1.

It is a common belief that a sport isn't sport if there are no decapitations, a video of Leader wearing shock-blue face paint and smashing an electric guitar in front of a frenzied crowd is on endless repeat on the nightly news, hundreds of subterranean tunnels are being built as part of "Project Morlock", and a suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Altaic's national animal is the pikachu, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Altaic is ranked 230,900^th in the world and 2^nd in accommodates for Most Primitive, scoring -109.37 on the Scary Big Number Scale.