The Commonality of Arva Telan is a titanic, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Rey Palandír Taimo with an iron fist, and remarkable for its teetotalling pirates, enslaved workforce, and anti-smoking policies. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 12.701 billion Telani are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt morass — juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kikoro. The average income tax rate is 85.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Arva Telanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,193 trillion Gold Coins a year, is highly specialized and led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving and Tourism. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is 93,951 Gold Coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Kikoro consists only of government buildings and the mansions of government janitors, Goldilocks has found a lucrative career as a zoning consultant, the government is proudly free of crabs, and kids only respect the law of the jungle. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Arva Telan's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Runar.

Arva Telan is ranked 311,356^th in the world and 13^th in Thegye for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring -12.7 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.