The Holy Chronicle of Astinus is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Bertram with an iron fist, and remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, avowedly heterosexual populace, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.571 billion Astinusians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Palanthas. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 77.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Astinusian economy, worth a remarkable 1,943 trillion Steels a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Uranium Mining, Retail, Soda Sales, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 133,356 Steels, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 387,330 per year while the poor average 36,343, a ratio of 10.7 to 1.

The right school tie opens more doors than the right qualification, children's daycare starts at the crack of dawn, the public are enjoying a royal flush of tax cuts, and libraries are refusing to stock A Midsummer Night's Dream because it has an ass in it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Astinus's national animal is the Scribe, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Astinus is ranked 2,584^th in the world and 1^st in The Library for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 15,165.84 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.