The Kingdom of Aswick is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by King William Stonebridge with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, irreverence towards religion, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic population of 24.139 billion Aswickans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Winchester. The average income tax rate is 95.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Aswickian economy, worth a remarkable 2,846 trillion Aswickan Pounds a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 117,928 Aswickan Pounds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Criminals lock themselves in their mums' basements to avoid prison, small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome, prisons in Aswick are the summer homes of murderers, and nobody is forced to join the armed forces. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Aswick's national animal is the Kangaroo, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Aswick is ranked 235,101^st in the world and 3^rd in Astyria for Highest Drug Use, scoring 66.93 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.