The Helpdesk of Avalnier is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Bobo The Omniscient Chaos Overlord with an iron fist, and renowned for its prohibition of alcohol, compulsory military service, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 26.745 billion Avalnierians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fuzzybottom. The average income tax rate is 94.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Avalnierian economy, worth an astonishing 18,307 trillion Chocolate Chip Pancakes a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, Retail, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is a breathtaking 684,534 Chocolate Chip Pancakes, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 2,297,424 per year while the poor average 151,361, a ratio of 15.2 to 1.

Prison is a nightmare, picnickers are lucky if a few wasps are the only animals that trouble them, the government only invests in infrastructure after a natural disaster, and safety warnings are prohibited lest they give people ideas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Avalnier's national animal is the Big Bird, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is The Holy haberdashery of Batman.

Avalnier is ranked 128,785^th in the world and 5,372^nd in Lazarus for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 39,018.44 Standard Monetary Units.