The Matriarchal Spider Empire of Beach Mimi is a massive, orderly nation, notable for its ritual sacrifices, compulsory military service, and ubiquitous missile silos. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 1.717 billion Beach Mimians are ruled with an iron fist by the corrupt, dictatorship government, which oppresses anyone who isn't on the board of a Fortune 500 company. Large corporations tend to be above the law, and use their financial clout to gain ever-increasing government benefits at the expense of the poor and unemployed.

The relatively small, moralistic, pro-business, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Administration, and Healthcare also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy aren't funded at all. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.9%.

The powerhouse Beach Mimian economy, worth 150 trillion rubies a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Arms Manufacturing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is 87,883 rubies, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 306,219 per year while the poor average 18,363, a ratio of 16.7 to 1.

Cities are engulfed by smog, the government recently relinquished its monopoly on the mail service, men are expected to stay home to fix funny noises in the attic, and open-heart surgery is taught in seminaries. Crime is a problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Beach Mimi's national animal is the spider, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Beach Mimi is ranked 130,627^th in the world and 13^th in Castle Bleck for Most Advanced Law Enforcement, scoring 1,814.17 on the Orwell Orderliness Index.