The Most Serene Republic of Beefoslavia is a massive, cultured nation, notable for its daily referendums, pith helmet sales, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.053 billion Beefoslavians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The grinder. The average income tax rate is 76.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Beefoslavian economy, worth 82.0 trillion Tubes of Ground Beefs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is 77,895 Tubes of Ground Beefs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The only women behind bars are barmaids, there's some really clean windows in Beefoslavian houses, traffic cops spend most of their work-hours calculating citizens' monthly income, and the pursuit of wanted criminals ends at the entrance of the pay'n'spray garage as police refuse to enter any private property. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Beefoslavia's national animal is the Infantile Bovine, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Beefoslavia is ranked 162,322^nd in the world and 782^nd in the Plains of Perdition for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,764.09 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.