The Most Serene Republic of Beefoslavia is a huge, cultured nation, remarkable for its pith helmet sales, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 872 million Beefoslavians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The grinder. The average income tax rate is 76.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Beefoslavian economy, worth 67.0 trillion Tubes of Ground Beefs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is broadly diversified, is led by the Beef-Based Agriculture industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Average income is 76,832 Tubes of Ground Beefs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Quiet professionalism has returned to the nation's armed forces, worship days have replaced sick days, the official Beefoslavian Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child, and Eau de Trashcan has become a wildly popular perfume. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Beefoslavia's national animal is the Infantile Bovine, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Beefoslavia is ranked 179,492^nd in the world and 918^th in the Plains of Perdition for Largest Gambling Industry, scoring 101.53 on the Kelly Criterion Productivity Index.