The Existential Horrors of Being Sober is a mammoth, orderly nation, renowned for its teetotalling pirates, soft-spoken computers, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 7.78 billion Being Soberians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 33.3%.

The thriving Being Soberian economy, worth 701 trillion deniers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Retail, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 90,142 deniers, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 349,257 per year while the poor average 15,945, a ratio of 21.9 to 1.

Visitors often mistake the toiletplex at music festivals for the main stage, thieves claim they're simply working for the tax agency, the sidewalk is used as an overtaking lane by city drivers, and citizens who don't follow a major religion are closely monitored for signs of self-harm. Crime is moderate. Being Sober's national animal is the swan, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Being Sober is ranked 117,167^th in the world and 3^rd in Group Space Version Two for Highest Drug Use, scoring 143.21 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.