The Poorly Aged Joke of Bootyswana is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Coach Tomlin with a fair hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, anti-smoking policies, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic population of 8.374 billion Bootyswanans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heinz Field. The average income tax rate is 68.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Bootyswanan economy, worth a remarkable 1,427 trillion Steelers Tickets a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 170,481 Steelers Tickets, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Lavish state dinners in Heinz Field are the state's leading budgetary expenditure, old people living in plastic bubbles complain about a new type of social isolation, what goes down must come up, and pop sensation "Jack and the Holograms" is storming the charts. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Bootyswana's national animal is the Steely McBeam, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Cult of the Winning Season.

Bootyswana is ranked 39,518^th in the world and 192^nd in Concord for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 2,346.37 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.