The Thorny Rose of Bristla is a colossal, cultured nation, renowned for its frequent executions, unlimited-speed roads, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 4.309 billion Bristlans are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic government prioritizes Law & Order, although Administration, Industry, and Defense are also considered important, while Spirituality and Public Transport aren't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 16.7%.

The powerhouse Bristlan economy, worth 332 trillion dollars a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Automobile Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 77,248 dollars, with the richest citizens earning 5.1 times as much as the poorest.

Kids refer to anything below the neck as "the parts that shall not be named", riot police are stationed around paintings of violent protestors, domestic cruise ships fly the Bristlan flag out of fear of being blown up, and economists claim no news is good news. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Bristla's national animal is the kangaroo, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Bristla is ranked 187,520^th in the world and 1,001^st in the Plains of Perdition for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring 902.15 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.