The Colony of British Pitcairn Islands is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, renowned for its daily referendums, smutty television, and absence of drug laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic population of 10.445 billion Pitcairn Islanders enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Adamstown. The average income tax rate is 23.5%.

The all-consuming British Pitcairn Islandsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,037 trillion pound sterlings a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Cheese Exports, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is 99,375 pound sterlings, with the richest citizens earning 5.2 times as much as the poorest.

Turnstile jumpers grow up to be tax cheats, the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments, new government leaflets tell coeliac children to eat more crisps, and diplomatic fallout tends to be much more dangerous than radioactive fallout. Crime is totally unknown. British Pitcairn Islands's national animal is the Pitcairn reed warbler, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

British Pitcairn Islands is ranked 173,119^th in the world and 3,400^th in the South Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring zero on the Clooney Contribution Index.