The Empire of Cardmania90044 is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, compulsory gun ownership, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 11.075 billion Cardmania90044ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Industry, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 76.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Cardmania90044ian economy, worth a remarkable 2,342 trillion Yen a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 211,547 Yen, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 679,322 per year while the poor average 49,934, a ratio of 13.6 to 1.

Nighttime sightings of raccoons sporting Circle-A patches and bandanna masks are on the rise, property owners are terrified of pigeons nesting in their buildings, no one born in Cardmania90044 can fix a leaky faucet, and small children are learning a lot of new words from a teacher with Tourette Syndrome. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cardmania90044's national animal is the Tiger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Cardmania90044 is ranked 271,134^th in the world and 105^th in Lily for Most Primitive, scoring -250.02 on the Scary Big Number Scale.