The Allied States of Celtayoshi is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Alfie Dunwoodie with an even hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, ubiquitous missile silos, and national health service. The compassionate, hard-working, cheerful population of 35.338 billion Celtayoshians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Environment, and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Celtayoshi City. The average income tax rate is 5.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Celtayoshian economy, worth a remarkable 7,546 trillion euros a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 213,542 euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, failed genetic experiments wreak havoc as they roam the countryside, school cafeterias serve nothing but protein powder and vitamin supplements, and the government is deliberately installing bloatware onto computers. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Celtayoshi's national animal is the Dog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Celtayoshi is ranked 3,105^th in the world and 1^st in Sparrow for Most Cultured, scoring 208 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.