The Holy Cow in Middle of Road of Chicago 9 is a titanic, safe nation, ruled by Harry Carry XXII with an even hand, and remarkable for its complete lack of prisons, compulsory military service, and unlimited-speed roads. The compassionate population of 20.174 billion Chicago 9ians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social and economic equality; they tend to view other countries as corrupted by the hollow pageantry of sham elections.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Chicago. The average income tax rate is 30.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Chicago 9ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,294 trillion cheeborgers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Information Technology, Book Publishing, Tourism, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 64,188 cheeborgers, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.6 times as much as the poorest.

Betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant, Chicago 9ian novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Harry Carry XXII, the aphorism "there's no need to argue" has been dismissed by Chicago 9ians, and the nation's government buildings are remarkable for being ugly concrete boxes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Chicago 9's national animal is the billy goat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is sports.

Chicago 9 is ranked 113,236^th in the world and 19^th in EPCOT Center 1981 for Most Developed, scoring 58.97 on the Human Development Index.