The Empire of CoFFN is a titanic, orderly nation, remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, infamous sell-swords, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 12.951 billion CoFFNians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The relatively small, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Welfare, and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and International Aid receive no funds. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 9.6%.

The strong CoFFNian economy, worth 812 trillion Sauces a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Uranium Mining, Automobile Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 62,733 Sauces, with the richest citizens earning 6.4 times as much as the poorest.

High school bands practice by moonlight, Animal Liberationists are regularly arrested, scientists regularly clone human beings for research purposes, and military spending is on the increase. Crime, especially youth-related, is well under control, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. CoFFN's national animal is the Eagle, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

CoFFN is ranked 209,766^th in the world and 11,961^st in Balder for Safest, scoring 55.73 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.