The Patroonship of Cohoes is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its ritual sacrifices, infamous sell-swords, and enslaved workforce. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 2.996 billion Cohoesians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cohoes. The average income tax rate is 70.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The strong Cohoesian economy, worth 195 trillion Fall Coins a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Basket Weaving, and Tourism. Average income is 65,264 Fall Coins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

University admissions staff are blindfolded to prevent accidental bias, Cohoesian Standard Vodka is the only drink that bars stock, libraries are now installed with jacuzzis and mini-bars, and the inner circle of Leader is looking more and more like a pink triangle. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cohoes's national animal is the Beaver, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Cohoes is ranked 116,850^th in the world and 6^th in Upstate for Largest Black Market, with 1.92 trillion Standard Monetary Units.