The Empire of Creetaurt is a mammoth, cultured nation, ruled by Emperor John II with an even hand, and renowned for its free-roaming dinosaurs, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 7.195 billion Creetaurtians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government prioritizes Administration, although Education, Environment, and Defense are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eastvale City. The average income tax rate is 66.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Creetaurtian economy, worth 844 trillion Creestans a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an impressive 117,319 Creestans, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.9 times as much as the poorest.

It is illegal for police officers to carry out searches due to strict privacy laws, the government has returned all business to private ownership, the daily weather forecast often predicts light showers of debris, and pillows outnumber picket signs at most workers rallies. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Creetaurt's national animal is the Imperial Griffin, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Christianity.

Creetaurt is ranked 312,520^th in the world and 1^st in Royal Continent for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 21.94 on the Bus Surprisal Index.