The Land of Crumbaker is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by That Guy with a fair hand, and notable for its daily referendums, frequent executions, and complete absence of social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 30.56 billion Crumbakers are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The medium-sized, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Coffee City. The average income tax rate is 19.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Crumbakerific economy, worth a remarkable 2,190 trillion Margrasian francs a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 71,682 Margrasian francs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Government-run screening operations remove embryos with severe genetic disorders, That Guy's latest speech included a bizarre reference to MaxWow incontinence pads being 50% more absorbent than the next leading brand, lending money has become a major liability, and streaming video is considered to be a myth by most citizens. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Crumbaker's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Protestant Christianity.

Crumbaker is ranked 253,758^th in the world and 11^th in The Sea of Love for Largest Manufacturing Sector, scoring 3,597.17 on the Gooback-Jerbs Productivity Index.