The District of Delaino is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Liard with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, absence of drug laws, and suspicion of poets. The hard-working, cynical population of 47.015 billion Delainoans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of District City. The average income tax rate is 33.8%.

The strong Delainoan economy, worth a remarkable 2,857 trillion aurums a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 60,784 aurums, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.2 times as much as the poorest.

Schoolchildren have twice-weekly sex education classes, soldiers must key in their passwords every time they want to reload their weapons, hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, and Liard is convinced that other nations can simply be "junked" (Delaino has found 3 easter eggs). Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Delaino's national animal is the bovina, which can occasionally be seen sifting through garbage in the nation's cities.

Delaino is ranked 227,963^rd in the world and 1^st in Terrible Tragedy for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 29.68 on the Bus Surprisal Index.