by Max Barry

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Largest Gambling Industry: 531stHighest Drug Use: 553rdHighest Crime Rates: 652nd
The Yellow Politician of
Corporate Bordello
Another 8 terms can't hurt...
Influence
Dominator
Region
Civil Rights
Good
Economy
Powerhouse
Political Freedom
World Benchmark

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Ed Markey

Population14.96 billion

CapitalThe North Pole

CurrencyGreased Palm
AnimalPolitical Appointee

The Yellow Politician of Ed Markey is a titanic, efficient nation, notable for its deadly medical pandemics, daily referendums, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.96 billion Bureaucrats are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The medium-sized, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government is effectively ruled by the Department of Administration, with Industry also on the agenda, while Law & Order and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The North Pole. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 14.6%.

The powerhouse Bureaucratic economy, worth a remarkable 1,223 trillion Greased Palms a year, is quite specialized and dominated by the Gambling industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is 81,760 Greased Palms, with the richest citizens earning 7.1 times as much as the poorest.

The strong are acquitted and the weak are trampled in trial by a Political Appointee, school lockers are filled with fancy underwear, women wear burqas to avoid unwanted male attention, and anti-government web sites are springing up. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Ed Markey's national animal is the Political Appointee, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Ed Markey is ranked 322,585th in the world and 2nd in TMZ for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 12.59 on the Kitten Softness Rating.

Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 531stHighest Drug Use: 553rdHighest Crime Rates: 652ndMost Armed: 734thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 862ndNudest: 968thMost Avoided: 1,470thRudest Citizens: 1,542ndMost Rebellious Youth: 2,009thMost Ignorant Citizens: 2,201stFattest Citizens: 3,228thTop
5%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 6,330thMost Primitive: 7,022ndLargest Soda Pop Sector: 9,512thLargest Retail Industry: 11,807thTop
10%
Largest Black Market: 18,970thHighest Disposable Incomes: 19,916thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 19,943rdLargest Mining Sector: 20,873rdLargest Populations: 30,475thHighest Economic Output: 31,958th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Ed Markey was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Highest Economic Output.
  • : Ed Markey was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Fattest Citizens.
  • : Ed Markey was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Fattest Citizens.
  • : Ed Markey's influence in TMZ fell from "Hegemony" to "Dominator".
  • : Ed Markey was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Populations.
  • : Ed Markey was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Populations.
  • : Ed Markey's influence in TMZ fell from "Hermit" to "Hegemony".
  • : Ed Markey's influence in TMZ rose from "Hegemony" to "Hermit".
  • : Ed Markey's influence in TMZ rose from "Dominator" to "Hegemony".
  • : Ed Markey was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Fattest Citizens.

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