The Free Land of Eileen is a mammoth, cultured nation, renowned for its frequent executions, irreverence towards religion, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate population of 8.9 billion Eileenians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed, including voting. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The relatively small, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Welfare, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 23.5%.

The Eileenian economy, worth 654 trillion francs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 73,532 francs, with the richest citizens earning 7.0 times as much as the poorest.

Street crime is on the rise as police officers spend most of their time in prisons, deceased politicians' MyFace profiles are unanimously pro-incumbent, copies of the constitution are used as toilet paper, and citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, despite the fact that it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many laws. Eileen's national animal is the unicorn, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Eileen is ranked 262,793^rd in the world and 81^st in Serenity for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 67.81 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.