The Bootleg Empire of Eli Cardashyan is a titanic, orderly nation, ruled by Eli Cardashyan with an iron fist, and notable for its public floggings, pith helmet sales, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.196 billion Cardashyans are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Glendale. The average income tax rate is 87.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Cardasyans economy, worth a remarkable 2,860 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Woodchip Exports, Furniture Restoration, and Uranium Mining. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 201,515 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.9 times as much as the poorest.

Those who sing the national anthem off-key have the key thrown away, it is illegal to brush crumbs off your clothing outdoors, fewer people are bathing as citizens must show ration stamps before they can turn on their faucets, and prisoners work-share to cut down rising costs of keeping them in jail. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Eli Cardashyan's national animal is the Ghoulie, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is A Romantic Attraction to A Mannequin.

Eli Cardashyan is ranked 327,750^th in the world and 5^th in Daybreak for Largest Trout Fishing Sector, scoring -14.97 on the Nemo Depletion Efficiency Index.