The Republic of Elppaso is a colossal, safe nation, notable for its burgeoning turtle population. The quiet, industrious population of 4.342 billion Elppasoans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized government juggles the competing demands of Welfare, Education, and Law & Order. The average income tax rate is 29.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The Elppasoan economy, worth 159 trillion Dollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Cheese Exports, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Automobile Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 36,528 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

The combined alert sound of a nation simultaneously receiving a text message is a common cause of hearing damage, genetic researchers have been expelled, organ donation rates are among the lowest in the region, and the nation's reputation for treachery has left it sidelined on the international stage. Crime is almost non-existent, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Elppaso's national animal is the turtle.

Elppaso is ranked 201,347^th in the world and 1^st in El Paso for Smartest Citizens, with 24.48 quips per hour.