The Baller of Eshialand is a titanic, genial nation, ruled by King William I with a fair hand, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, complete lack of prisons, and flagrant waste-dumping. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 15.017 billion Eshians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Industry, although Administration, Education, and Welfare are also considered important, while Law & Order and Environment receive no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Eshialand City. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Eshian economy, worth a remarkable 3,898 trillion dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 259,599 dollars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,466,823 per year while the poor average 22,558, a ratio of 65.0 to 1.

Security reviews double as corporate marketing, the numbers on the latest spending report are reaching stellar levels, the environment is gorgeous so long as you're looking up, and surgical tape has taken on a distinctly red color. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Eshialand's national animal is the owl, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

Eshialand is ranked 890^th in the world and 1^st in Esportiva for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 257,262.83 Standard Monetary Units.