The Federal Republic of Esstovakia is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Commander in Chief Ileay Vortuni with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, keen interest in outer space, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The hard-working, cynical population of 8.658 billion Esstovakians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Stovak. The average income tax rate is 33.1%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Esstovakian economy, worth 961 trillion Stovs a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing, Woodchip Exports, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 111,097 Stovs, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Surrogate mothers are encouraged to refer to their wombs as 'rental space', homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them, there's no representation without taxation, and the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Esstovakia's national animal is the Falcon, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Catholicism.

Esstovakia is ranked 73,437^th in the world and 2^nd in The Anean Valhaven for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 2,829.9 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.