The Bassoon of Etsib is a mammoth, efficient nation, ruled by Ringo Starr with an iron fist, and renowned for its frequent executions, parental licensing program, and strictly enforced bedtime. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.436 billion Etsibians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Administration, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Paul McCartney. The average income tax rate is 57.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Etsibian economy, worth 545 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Tourism, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 100,341 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

Etsib is notorious for its citizens' infidelity, all citizens are solely referenced by their allocated identity number, the nation's new foreign policy of 'very disproportionate retribution' has its neighbors on edge, and rumours have it that a secret police is responsible for the recent spate of missing persons. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Etsib's national animal is the wolf, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is George Harrison.

Etsib is ranked 50,507^th in the world and 4^th in argent for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,937.59 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.