by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,584th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,720th Largest Publishing Industry: 2,350th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population9.958 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and notable for its museums and concert halls, national health service, and digital currency. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 9.958 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 35.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 1,712 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 172,001 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 23,666th in the world and 125th in Europeia for Largest Pizza Delivery Sector, scoring 3,998.13 on the Pepperoni Propulsion Productivity Index.

Highest Drug Use: 1,584thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,720thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,350thMost Efficient Economies: 3,892ndMost Extensive Civil Rights: 4,079thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,233rdMost Politically Free: 4,597thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,759thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,133rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,393rdMost Stationary: 6,102ndNudest: 6,158thMost Cultured: 6,260thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,528thHighest Economic Output: 6,864thMost Cheerful Citizens: 7,022ndSmartest Citizens: 7,604thLargest Gambling Industry: 7,686thFattest Citizens: 7,969thTop
Highest Average Incomes: 8,673rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9,010thMost Extreme: 10,129thMost Developed: 10,208thMost Influential: 11,155thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,257thRudest Citizens: 13,197thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 13,871stMost Advanced Public Education: 14,620thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,142ndMost Armed: 15,488thLargest Insurance Industry: 15,619thLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,089th
Highest Drug Use: 4th in the regionMost Politically Free: 6th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 8th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 19th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 22nd in the regionMost Stationary: 23rd in the regionNudest: 25th in the regionMost Extreme: 32nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 38th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 39th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 39th in the regionFattest Citizens: 44th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 46th in the regionTop
Most Armed: 54th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 63rd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 68th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 70th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 71st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 72nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 74th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 74th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 74th in the regionLargest Black Market: 80th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 87th in the regionLargest Populations: 89th in the regionRudest Citizens: 91st in the regionMost Cultured: 94th in the region

National Happenings

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