by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,644thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,034thLargest Publishing Industry: 2,418th
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population14.329 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and notable for its frequent executions, national health service, and digital currency. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 14.329 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 33.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 2,483 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 173,324 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 36,912th in the world and 294th in Europeia for Most Eco-Friendly Governments, scoring 1,855.68 on the Dolphin Recycling Awareness Index.

Highest Drug Use: 1,644thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,034thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 2,418thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,569thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,254thMost Efficient Economies: 4,317thHighest Disposable Incomes: 4,629thMost Rebellious Youth: 4,796thMost Stationary: 4,901stHighest Economic Output: 6,061stMost Cultured: 6,269thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,942ndMost Subsidized Industry: 7,408thSmartest Citizens: 8,202ndLargest Gambling Industry: 9,648thHighest Average Incomes: 9,694thNudest: 9,999thMost Influential: 10,252ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 11,046thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,072ndTop
Fattest Citizens: 12,011thMost Developed: 14,630thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 14,646thMost Politically Free: 15,382ndMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,457thLargest Populations: 16,862ndMost Advanced Public Education: 17,240thLargest Information Technology Sector: 17,817thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18,360thLargest Insurance Industry: 21,238thMost Inclusive: 22,520thMost Extreme: 22,704thHighest Poor Incomes: 23,239th
Highest Drug Use: 5th in the regionMost Politically Free: 6th in the regionTop
Most Extensive Civil Rights: 8th in the regionMost Stationary: 12th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 13th in the regionMost Extreme: 17th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 20th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 22nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 28th in the regionNudest: 29th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 31st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 34th in the regionTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 40th in the regionFattest Citizens: 42nd in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 43rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 46th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 51st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 54th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 54th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 55th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 56th in the regionLargest Populations: 60th in the regionMost Armed: 71st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 74th in the region

National Happenings

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