by Max Barry

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Highest Drug Use: 1,613th Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,753rd Largest Publishing Industry: 2,293rd
The Panda's Federal Republic of
Knowledge is Power
Communications Officer
Civil Rights
Political Freedom
Widely Abused

Overview Factbook Dispatches Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Europeia Dispatch Office

Population10.291 billion

CapitalRaging Coolidgetopia
Leadera Panda that wandered into the Capitol


The Panda's Federal Republic of Europeia Dispatch Office is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by a Panda that wandered into the Capitol with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, keen interest in outer space, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 10.291 billion Dispatchers live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Raging Coolidgetopia. The average income tax rate is 35.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Europeian economy, worth a remarkable 1,770 trillion Dispatches a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is an impressive 172,001 Dispatches, with the richest citizens earning 5.4 times as much as the poorest.

Barbed wire entanglements and guard towers surround the Raging Coolidgetopia Natural History Museum, fruit market traders let their stock spoil rather than reduce their prices at the day's end, legislators work 24/7 due to an influx of single-issue bills, and the nation's prisons are touted as the best weight loss programs money can't buy. Crime is well under control. Europeia Dispatch Office's national animal is the Journalist, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Europeia Dispatch Office is ranked 3,825th in the world and 45th in Europeia for Most Efficient Economies, scoring 100 on the Krugman-Greenspan Business Outlook Index.

Highest Drug Use: 1,613thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 1,753rdLargest Publishing Industry: 2,293rdMost Efficient Economies: 3,825thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4,204thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 4,227thMost Politically Free: 4,654thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,768thMost Rebellious Youth: 5,040thHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,435thMost Stationary: 5,929thMost Cultured: 6,226thNudest: 6,465thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6,513thHighest Economic Output: 6,812thMost Cheerful Citizens: 6,927thSmartest Citizens: 7,636thLargest Gambling Industry: 7,764thFattest Citizens: 8,051stTop
Highest Average Incomes: 8,797thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 9,478thMost Developed: 10,337thMost Extreme: 10,405thMost Influential: 11,005thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 12,514thRudest Citizens: 13,663rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 14,339thMost Advanced Public Education: 14,416thMost Scientifically Advanced: 15,366thLargest Information Technology Sector: 16,349thMost Armed: 16,405thLargest Insurance Industry: 16,486thLongest Average Lifespans: 17,150th
Highest Drug Use: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 6th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 7th in the regionTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 19th in the regionMost Stationary: 21st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 26th in the regionNudest: 29th in the regionMost Extreme: 34th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 37th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 37th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 40th in the regionFattest Citizens: 44th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 45th in the regionTop
Most Armed: 55th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 58th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 63rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 65th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 65th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 66th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 68th in the regionLargest Black Market: 75th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 75th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 76th in the regionLargest Populations: 82nd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 87th in the region

National Happenings

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