The Most Serene Republic of Featured Forest is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by The Green Man with an even hand, and remarkable for its public floggings, anti-smoking policies, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, democratic population of 4.005 billion Featured Foresters enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sequoia. The average income tax rate is 91.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Featured Forestian economy, worth 418 trillion marks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 104,592 marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Intellectual snobbery has the cognoscenti sneering at anyone who doesn't have an opinion on the semiological drift of Umberto Eco's works, a ban on unsolicited cold calling in all forms is in effect, coffee cups have grown in size to accommodate the huge ingredients list, and houses and businesses are bulldozed to make way for ever-expanding cemeteries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Featured Forest's national animal is the Common raccoon, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Naturism.

Featured Forest is ranked 266,149^th in the world and 11^th in Lasagna for Fattest Citizens, with 6.81 Obesity Rate.