The Empire of Fincham is a colossal, genial nation, ruled by Emperor Elanuelo with an iron fist, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, ubiquitous missile silos, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate, cynical population of 2.713 billion Finchans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Aculon. The average income tax rate is 38.3%.

The powerhouse Finchan economy, worth 283 trillion Elanueloes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 104,669 Elanueloes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Nations that kill a Finchan can expect a strongly worded letter, a degree of self-hatred is vital for a future in politics, where there's a will there is usually a password manager, and enemy navies sail within bombardment range of major coastal cities with impunity. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Fincham's national animal is the Scorpion, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Any.

Fincham is ranked 53,558^th in the world and 12^th in Blue Ridge for Most Cultured, scoring 71 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.