The Snake Charmer of FP Jones is a titanic, efficient nation, ruled by FP with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, zero percent divorce rate, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 12.535 billion Southsiders are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Southside. The average income tax rate is 74.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Southsider economy, worth a remarkable 1,431 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Woodchip Exports, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 114,197 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Welfare recipients are milking the government for all they've got, chess defeat has made FP the laughingstock of dictators and grandmasters alike, trolls insist that strings of racial slurs mean "good morning" in obscure languages, and a newly discovered small mammal's name translates into Southsider as 'your finger, you fool'. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. FP Jones's national animal is the Serpent, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Pop Tate-ism.

FP Jones is ranked 241,808^th in the world and 6^th in Riverdale for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 29,120.43 Standard Monetary Units.