The Empire of Free Turtle is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Bob Turtle with an even hand, and remarkable for its daily referendums, pith helmet sales, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, devout population of 4.604 billion Free Turtleans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Turtle. The average income tax rate is 98.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Free Turtlean economy, worth a remarkable 1,252 trillion turtles a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 272,142 turtles, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Weird kids who eat bugs are breaking the law, the latest electric jet fighter has almost enough battery charge to reach cruising altitude -- provided you don't use the radar, the military will start wars with other nations on a lark, and EULAs remind customers that "Private Mode" is a browser setting rather than a promise. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Free Turtle's national animal is the turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Turtleism.

Free Turtle is ranked 320,582^nd in the world and 19^th in RealTacoMan Frontier for Highest Drug Use, scoring 7.24 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.