The Empire of FreeMales is a mammoth, orderly nation, ruled by Lonk with an iron fist, and renowned for its aversion to nipples, avowedly heterosexual populace, and state-planned economy. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 8.207 billion Freemalesians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, although Law & Order, Industry, and Education are also considered important, while Social Policy and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lorule. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 44.7%.

The frighteningly efficient FreeMalesian economy, worth a remarkable 2,355 trillion Rupees a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 286,995 Rupees, with the richest citizens earning 6.0 times as much as the poorest.

It is illegal to liberate slaves, members of the government all have oddly similar anecdotes about their childhoods, the government regularly hires contractors to construct high rise apartments, and CSI Forest is this year's hit new crime show. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. FreeMales's national animal is the ChuChu, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Indigo.

FreeMales is ranked 332,065^th in the world and 18,794^th in Chicken overlords for Most Compassionate Citizens, scoring 7.82 on the Kitten Softness Rating.